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Nov. 6, 2018, 8 a.m.

The New York Times wants to preface your Election Night panic with some Election Day zen

Democracy: a single grain of sand slipping through an hourglass.

If Election 2018 has had a Word of the Year, it might be “bothsidesism,” a second cousin to “whataboutism” and au courant rhetorical weapon against those who treat two disparate phenomena as being of comparable importance. (Broadly speaking, whataboutism is a disease native to cable news pundits, while bothsidesism primarily infects newspaper writers.)

But Election Day has brought the ultimate in bothsidesism from — of course! — The New York Times. Tonight, the paper will drive millions of nervous tappers and clickers insane by bringing back 2016’s bête noire, THE NEEDLE.

See, you’re tensing up just looking at it, aren’t you?

Meanwhile, in typical MSM form, The New York Times is trying to have it both ways by allegedly offering “The Calm Place,” a page on the Internet where “Election” is just that Reese Witherspoon movie.

It even has /self-care/ in the URL.

It encourages you to share it with your stressed friends lol:

Really, you can learn all you need to know about The Calm Place from the stock photo credits.

CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK (GRASS, CANDLE, ROCKS, ORANGES, DOG, HANDS, VAPOR)

SO WHICH IS IT NEW YORK TIMES?!?! Do you want hours of white-knuckled existential panic or do you want us to center our qi?

POSTED     Nov. 6, 2018, 8 a.m.
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